I have a friend who is dating a cop and they are starting to get more “serious.” She asked for advice on being a cops wife…
Being a cops wife is not for everyone. It’s not easy. It’s often trying and confusing and as you are (your spouse is) with the department longer, it just gets worse. In the beginning, it’s exciting. The stories of chases, whether on foot or by car, are awesome to hear and how they protect and serve is always great to hear. But one day, you realize that you aren’t getting the full picture of a shift. You realize that you are hearing the tolerable stories only because they are afraid to share with you what really happens in a shift. They say it is to protect you and deep inside your heart, you know it’s true. There are a lot and by a lot, I mean A LOT of lonely nights especially if your spouse is on thirds. When they aren’t sleeping the whole day away, they are waking up only to go right back in. Pretty soon, it’s just the norm. You don’t see your spouse a lot. And if your spouse is anything like mine, he’ll be chosen for things like SWAT, sniper school, armorer school, taser training, FTO, etc. They are always gone… if not at work, then at some school training. You support them because you know that they are damn good at what they do but you also struggle because you have a wonderful family that misses daddy.
It’s not easy. It’s a hard road to walk especially in today’s society where there are so many stories of police being ambushed. It’s hard to send your spouse to work knowing that they are in danger, more now than ever before. After years of doing this, you get numb to it. You still don’t want them to leave but learn to treasure the time you have while they are home. You don’t think about them having to leave the next day for work or for training. You focus on the time you have and that has been my greatest reward. I have learned that when 278 is home that he is mine.
It’s not easy. It’s not lavish. It’s not a storybook by far. But it is a life that many of us choose to live because of the love we have for our spouse and the love we have for the profession. We are all a family whether you live on the east coast, west coast or somewhere in between. We are all related by this thing called the blue blood. If I can ever be a support to any wife out there that is struggling with her husband’s job, I’m here. I’ve been through it and am still going through it. Every month, my hubby is gone training for at least a week this year and did this most of last as well. It’s great for his career/resume but it’s hard on us. I’d be lying if I said this was a life I expected because it isn’t. You don’t really know what being a Police Wife is all about until you are one. Although it isn’t want I expected, I love it and I wouldn’t change it.
Sorry if this post seems all jumbled. I have so much on my mind right now that I am having a hard time formulating proper thoughts.