My dad died many years ago. He died when I was 6 months old so I never had the opportunity to meet him. To my knowledge, there were never any pictures taken of he and I because well, he wasn’t supposed to die.
Growing up, I had known that right before he died (literally 2 days), he wrote me a letter entitled “Dear Daughter.” It’s a letter I haven’t read in years and has been tucked away at my moms house. After his death, my mom laminated it so it would withstand the test of time and I would have it as a keep sake.
Fast forward to today… (wanna guess where this is going??)
I sent mom a message asking about the letter as I think it’s time that I keep it in my possession. A few years ago, she “cleaned” her house and threw away a lot of stuff. By stuff, I mean pictures of my brother and I growing up, all of our school pictures that I was supposed to get so I could show my children, certificates of whatever – you name it, she tossed it in a fit of rage………. but she kept the letter.
Turns out, she no longer has the letter my dad wrote me. At some point during one of her ‘purging’ moments, she tossed it as she was angry with life and didn’t want anything. Unfortunately, it wasn’t her letter to toss. It wasn’t her call to get rid of it. I keep reminding her to keep her marriage certificate and his death certificate because she keeps wanting to get rid of those.
I’m furious. I’m heart-broken. I’m just lost. It was the one keepsake I had from my father. She refused to give it to me years ago when I asked for it and promised she would keep it. I know that there is something going on with her mentally that causes her to react the way she does but for some reason, the things she is doing is really starting to dig into the depths of my heart. I love her. I will always love her but that doesn’t mean I have to understand her or condone her actions.
I am so truly heartbroken right now.